Important Bonds
by Neon25
Summary: Ten years from now, Adam gathers those closest to him to make a life changing announcement.
1. Chapter 1

"I just wanted to thank you all for coming," Adam started off. He looked around the circle of people at each and every one of the loving faces.

His dad sat next to him on his left. He reached out and put a reassuring hand on Adam's shoulder. Adam sent him a faint smile. Mr. Torres smiled back at his son and squeezed his shoulder.

Audra Torres sat beside her husband looking down at the round table at which the group sat. Adam noticed she was holding Mr. Torres's hand tightly. Upon looking up briefly, Audra met her son's eyes and nodded her head ever so slightly. But it was enough for Adam.

Glancing around, Adam saw his brother, Drew, with his arm wrapped around his fiancée, Bianca DeSousa. Bianca gave Adam a smile as did Drew, his quite a bit wider though.

Next to Bianca, Adam met the eyes of his closest friends, Eli and Clare. They sat close together with their shoulders touching even though there was plenty of room at the table. Eli held his signature smirk and Clare just kept her gaze fixated on Adam, her eyes filled with questions.

Coming to a complete circle, Adam found himself staring at Fiona Coyne; the girl who had broken his heart back in high school and now one of the most influential people in his life.

"These bonds here," Adam said, "are the most important things to me. Some have been broken and fixed numerous times, others have always been there, and some are even recently formed." He met Bianca's eyes.

"That's why I asked you all here. Some of these bonds took a while to form," Adam let out a light hearted chuckle at Bianca's apologetic look. "But each one is just as important to me as the next. And so I want you all here to be the ones to hear this."

He paused. Every eye was on Adam; every eye except those of Mrs. Torres who was still staring at the table.

"I have recently made a huge decision in my life and it concerns all of you as all of you have and impact on my life. Some of you might be disappointed by my choice," Adam told the group before looking back at his mother.

She looked up and he saw the worried and concerned look on her face. But there was more there. Her expression held apprehension and shame. Adam tore his eyes away before continuing.

"And come of you might be happy. But you all need to know that this is my decision and mine alone. I have considered all the possibilities and have made my choice," Adam said.

His eyes wandered around the circle once again. There were expressions of curiosity along with happiness and excitement. It was almost as if they knew what he was talking about. And while each face held some variation of different emotions, all showed anxiety. And yet, though there was so much emotion showing, not one person moved. Not one person fidgeted. Not one person made any motion at all.

Adam took a deep breath. He shut his eyes quickly and let out the air. Then, he opened his mouth.

"It's about my transition."


	2. Chapter 2

**Three Days Earlier**

"I'm home!" Drew yelled into the apartment as he opened the door. Silence. _Strange_, he thought, _I thought Bianca was supposed to be home. _He shut the door and threw his keys on the table. Loosening his tie, Drew made his way through the apartment and into the kitchen. He pulled open the fridge and searched for a snack. When he found none, Drew closed the door and turned his attention to the counter. There lay a plate filled with cookies. He smiled.

But before he took a delicious cookie, he noticed a note beside the plate. He picked it up along with a cookie. Taking a bite, Drew began to read the note. It read:

'Going out with the girls! Call you later! –B'

He smiled again. He loved that after high school Bianca had had a drastic attitude change and now had friends. After realizing what a bitch she was, Bianca resolved to set her life straight. So she started with Drew.

Ever since junior year, the two had had an on-off relationship. A few times, Bianca had actually believed that Drew had moved on. But he would come crawling back to her or she would crawl to him. Either way, in the end, they found each other.

Once they were out of college, Drew and Bianca decided to move in together. Mrs. Torres, finally allowing her sons to grow up, helped them find a suitable apartment. Upon seeing this one, Bianca and Drew both fell in love with it. But it was a bit pricey. So in order to pay for it, they got jobs; Bianca as a jeweler and Drew as a sports agent (his football career ended when he tore his ACL in the college championship his sophomore year).

About 8 months ago, Drew proposed. Bianca said yes and they began to plan their life together. Of course, it had taken Drew almost 10 years to get both of his parents' blessings and Adam's. He refused to ask without Adam's approval. Initially, Adam was a bit shocked when Drew asked, but he figured that Bianca had changed and so there was no point in dwelling over old grudges.

So here Drew sat, eating a cookie, and enjoying life. He had a wonderful fiancée, a good home, and a loving family. He smiled once more.

Drew then proceeded to undress. He was in just his boxers when the telephone rang. He ran into the living room to grab the phone.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Drew!"

"Adam!" Drew responded with equal enthusiasm. It had been a while since the two brothers talked. "What's going on little bro?"

Adam laughed on the other end. "Not much actually. Works been kind of boring lately." Drew understood. After graduating from Toronto University with a degree in business, Adam moved to the states to begin an LGBT support company. His company, called The Gracie Change, sold binders and other helpful things for transgendered students across the country as well as counseling. He also spoke at high schools across the nation and held support groups in over 500 cities. Drew had to hand it to him, his business was inspiring.

"I hear you man. It's like every sports team has decided to go AWOL," he laughed. But it was true, recently, less and less teams have been recruiting players so he's been forced to enter his players in minor leagues. "So, not to be rude, but why exactly are you calling me?" Drew asked.

"Well, there's um, there's kinda something I um, I need to talk to about," Adam stuttered. Immediately, Drew became serious. Adam never word stumbled unless he was nervous; and he was only nervous when he was serious.

"Alright," Drew said shifting tones. "Shoot."

"You know how it's been a few years since I graduated? Well, I've been thinking a lot about…me and…my…um…transition," Adam told Drew.

"Oh," was all Drew could say. "And?"

"I'm kinda still on the fence about it and I was wondering if you had any thoughts on it?"

Drew sat silent for a moment, thinking. "Adam, you've always been my little brother. Always. And you know I would never change anything about you," he took a deep breath. "But this is something you've been talking about forever."

"I know," Adam agreed. "But what if I change too much? I mean with all the extra testosterone and new self image –"

"Adam!" Drew stopped him. "You will always be Adam. Sure, the extra hormones might increase your male intuitions. And sure, you'll see yourself differently. But that's to be expected."

Adam sighed. "I'm afraid that one day I'll look in the mirror and won't recognize myself. In thirty years, I don't want to think 'what have I done?' You know?"

Drew sat in his comfy chair. "If you were to do this, in thirty years, you will look in the mirror and you won't see any trace of Gracie. Isn't that what you want?"

"That's just it. I feel like, without Gracie, there's no Adam," he responded frustrated with himself.

"Gracie has never shaped Adam. You know that. Look," Drew sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Transitioning is a big deal; huge. It will change your life forever. And, if you want my honest opinion, you should go through with it. Because if you don't, in thirty years, you'll think about what could've been. You know? Whereas, if you were to go through with it, you can live your life as Adam without the hassle of a female body. You'd be all man, bro?"

"Oh, so are you saying I'm not all man now?" he joked from the other end of the call.

This caused Drew to laugh. But then he grew serious again. "No, I'm just saying that it can't really hurt Adam; it might erase Gracie forever though."

Silence. Adam thought about what Drew said. "Thanks Drew," he said after s few moments. "You're kinda an awesome brother."

"Eh, I try," he smiled. Adam too smiled. And although they couldn't physically see each other, they knew the other was smiling.

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Drew sat back in his comfy chair. He hadn't expected that.

"Drew! Would you put some clothes on? We have company!" Drew heard Bianca yell as she entered the apartment followed by three of her girlfriends.

Now that was even more unexpected. His face flushed with embarrassment as he stood in front of Bianca and her friends in just his boxers. Drew retreated to the bedroom and heard the four girls laughing in the living room.

As he finished getting undressed and put on his pajamas, Drew received a text message. He grinned when he saw it was from Adam.

'_Thnx bro. I kno tht convo was awk but u were cool bout it. Thnx. I owe u man! – Adam'_

Drew read the message a few times before turning his cell off.

_Glad I could help bro_, Drew thought as he lay on his bed, shut his eyes, and fell into a deep slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

**Two Days Earlier**

"Ms. Edwards?" Clare looked up from her desk to see her assistant, Shelly, standing at her door. "There's someone here to see you."

Clare glanced at her clock. It was noon, lunch time. Only one person could possibly be here for her at lunch time. Elijah Goldsworthy.

As if on cue, Eli peered around the corner into Clare's office. His eyes met Clare's and he smirked.

"Thank you Shelly," Clare said as she kept her eyes on Eli. Shelly nodded and left the room. Eli took this as his chance to enter.

"So this is Clare Edwards's dream job, huh?" He asked. Clare smiled and nodded proudly. After finishing high school at Degrassi, Clare followed her dreams of becoming a writer. She attended a university for gifted writers which earned her a degree in writing and editing. While in college, she wrote her first novel about a teenage girl who fell in love with the angel of death. Shockingly, the fictional relationship was _extremely_ similar to the one she once had with Eli. But of course, she would deny such similarity. And so now Clare worked full time at a publishing company helping others achieve their dreams.

"Well," Eli said sitting down, "unless you want to rub it in some more, I suggest we head to lunch so we don't miss our reservations." His tone was playful, but he was serious. Once he graduated, Eli was forced into his dad's business at the radio station. He worked long hours and had little time to himself. And so, his hopes of writing more comics vanished. However, after getting the courage to defy his father and quit his job, Eli began work as a therapeutic consultant. Basically, he was the guy therapists came to when they had trouble getting into their patients mind.

"Reservations?" she asked. He had been keeping the location of their lunch date a secret. He nodded.

"We are going to the place we fell in love again," Eli told her sheepishly. Clare's face broke into a grin.

High school had been hard of their relationship and so it had ended. Clare moved on to other people and things, and Eli attended psychotherapy for his mental insecurities. They had stopped talking all together during Eli's senior year. Three weeks ago, the two ran into each other for the first time in ten years. Eli was out with a perspective client at a local burger joint when he saw her walk into the restaurant with Alli Bhandari. Clare hadn't noticed Eli yet. After Eli's client left he sent a desert over to the girls and struck up a conversation. He and Clare talked about how they'd been and what they've done. By the end of the day, the two had made plans to get together again. Soon, they were back in a relationship together, but taking things slowly. Neither wanted high school pain again.

"Well aren't you just the little hopeless romantic?" Clare asked playfully ruffling Eli's hair. He grimaced.

"Yeah, yeah. I can get sappy, I get it," he grumbled. He was living proof that older doesn't mean more mature.

"I love you," Clare said softly as she leaned into him. He leaned forward to capture his lips with hers.

Then the phone rang.

Clare pulled away and reached over for the phone. "Hello?" she asked dazed by Eli's kiss.

"Did I interrupt something?" Adam answered from the other end knowingly. It was no secret Eli and Clare were together.

"Haha, you are just _so_ funny Torres," Clare fake laughed. Hearing Adam's name, Eli snatched the phone and put it on speaker.

"Grasshopper!" he called like a child. Adam laughed heartedly on the other end.

"Hello to you too Eli," he said. "So listen guys, I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to ask your guys' opinion of something."

"Sure," Clare said.

"Now that I'm 26, and have full control over everything involving me, I was thinking about becoming a legal male," Adam spoke slowly and with hesitation. He knew what Eli would say, but he wasn't sure how Clare would react.

Clare turned to Eli stunned. He just grinned. "That's awesome Adam!" he yelled into the phone.

"Wow, Eli, not so loud man," Adam joked.

"Sorry," Eli apologized. "That's great man. I mean, not that you need it, but like, it's good, you know, for like, being a guy, like, a real guy – not that you're not a real guy, but like, you know what I mean," he stumbled out. Clare smiled and shook her head and Adam broke out into laughter.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Adam agreed. "I was just thinking about how different I'd be you know?"

"Different is good. You'll finally have your body match your mind," Eli told him.

"I figured you'd say that," Adam said softly. "Which is why I was kinda wondering what Clare thinks."

"Um," Clare said a bit uncomfortable by the open talk. It wasn't like she was prude, but this seemed more like guy talk. "Well, I think it's definitely something you've wanted for a while now…"

"But?"

"But if you're having doubts then maybe you should hold off," Clare finished slowly. She didn't want to upset Adam or Eli. When there was silence, Clare continued. "It's just; you need to wait until you're ready to fully transition emotionally, not because others don't understand your situation."

Eli nodded. She had a point; Clare always did. "But what if he is ready, Clare?" Eli asked out loud.

"I'm not against it at all, let's be clear," she said defiantly. "If you think you're ready, then I am one hundred percent behind you Adam. But, I feel like, you're doubting it. Why?"

"Ah," Eli said, "a fine question indeed." Clare smacked his arm playfully.

Adam thought for a moment. "Maybe I'm worried it will totally erase Gracie forever."

"Wait, I thought you wanted Gracie gone," Eli stated confused.

"Well, yes, and no," Adam said. "I don't want to be her, but she was once me. You have to remember, at one point, I was Gracie. When I was little, Gracie was Adam in disguise. I want her out of my life but I don't want to never remember her."

"And that's why you called your company the Gracie Change," Eli concluded.

"Haha, good job genius," Adam joked. "But, yes."

"Transitioning wouldn't rid you of Gracie forever Adam," Eli said thoughtfully. "Sure, you will have Adam's body, but you'll always have half of Gracie's heart. Isn't that the most important part about her?"

"I don't know," Adam dejectedly said. "Maybe I do want her gone."

"Well, to everyone that loves you or cares about you or even knows you, Gracie is gone," Clare encouraged. "We all love Adam just the way he is. But if he wanted to do something for himself once in a while, I think we'd all still love him the same anyway."

Silence.

"And that's final," Clare said motherly and hung up. Eli looked at her stunned. "What?" she asked. "WE have reservations."

Eli smirked as Clare grabbed his hand and pulled him out of her office. In the elevator, Eli quickly sent Adam a text.

_Grasshopper, Clare is rite as always ;]we'll all luv u no matter wat u choose_

Eli and Clare shared a quick kiss before getting into Eli's new car. Clare laughed at the old picture of him and Morty in front of Degrassi. Eli may have loved his new BMW, but he would never love any car more than Morty.

Just as Eli was about to start to car, he received a text form Adam.

_Thnx Eli. And thank Clare. BTW, remember…..NO GLOVE, NO LOVE! ;P_

Eli laughed. And Clare shot him a puzzled look. "I love you," he said leaning in for a passionate kiss as she smiled. It was a good thing he always had a 'glove' with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**One Day Earlier**

"Coming!" Fiona yelled from across her condo. She tied up her bath robe and made her way to the door.

Up until now, Fiona had been enjoying her sick day. It was just a cold but her business partner had suggested she take the day off to get better (they did have a new design revealing in a few days).

Once she graduated from NYU with a degree in fashion/clothing, Fiona decided to stay in New York and start a fashion line with her school roommate. Together, the girls began to slowly create New York's newest fashion trends. Unfortunately, all this work took up most of Fiona's life after college and so she never really had time to date. Sure, in college Fiona went on a few dates here and there with a bunch of different girls, but no serious relationships. Her roommate, and now business partner, had even tried to set her up on a couple of blind dates. Nothing worked out.

These days, Fiona kept busy with her upcoming summer line. She even took one of her dresses for the line and gave it to Holly J to wear for her wedding (which happened to be to none other than Fiona's twin brother, Declan). Fiona was truly happy to see the two marry. She was glad to finally have Holly J in the family. After senior year of high school, Fiona's feelings for Holly J dissipated and their friendship was renewed. Fiona also kept up with other friends form Degrassi; some even living in New York.

"Adam!" Fiona exclaimed as she opened her condo door. She smiled brightly at him and he returned it. High school was harsh on their relationship but after Adam moved to New York and opened The Gracie Change, they began to talk again. Quickly, they had become close friends. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard through the grapevine that someone was under the weather and thought that said person could use a bit of home cooking to make them feel better," he shrugged like it was nothing.

"Well aren't you the sweetest thing," Fiona said. They laughed a bit and Fiona invited him in.

Adam walked through the condo as if it was his own and put some food on the kitchen counter. Whenever Fiona had free time she would call Adam and see what he was up to. Normally, the day would end with Adam at her condo watching a movie with her or eating dinner with her. He had become a regular at her condo and they had rediscovered each other. As Fiona watched him, she sensed something was off.

"You okay?" she finally asked.

Adam spun around to face her and sighed. "I'm fine," he started.

"That's a lie Adam," Fiona said sternly. She hated when Adam kept secrets from her. He didn't do it often and so whenever he did she knew it was serious.

"I have something to ask you," Adam said. His voice was uneasy and nervous. He hated when he got so emotional.

Fiona walked up to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Why are you so nervous?" she questioned. They had become so comfortable with each other that Fiona could see his uneasiness.

Adam sighed and walked over to the couch. He plopped down and kept his head looking at his feet. Fiona followed him and sat next to him. She reached out and started rubbing his back.

"Hey," she said. Adam picked up his head. His eyes were watery and his face was pale. "You can ask me anything. You know that right?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah, but this…this is kinda…really awkward to talk about," he admitted.

"Why?" Fiona asked. She hated seeing Adam like this. Well, not really. She actually liked it when he opened up to her; it made her feel better about what happened in high school between them. Fiona enjoyed being his closest friend (literally) and being the one he talked to so often.

Adam took a deep breath before sitting up straight. He faced her and looked her in the eye. Adam instantly softened. Something about her eyes got to him every time; it reminded him why he fell for her all those years ago.

"I've been thinking…a lot…about…my,um…transition," Adam finished. Fiona stared at him dumbfounded. She opened her mouth but immediately shut it. Adam looked down again. "I already talked to Drew and Eli and Clare – "

"Oh," Fiona said sadly.

"No, it's not like telling you was an afterthought; it's just, one is my brother and the others have been my best friends since high school – "

"No. Oh as in, oh you haven't talked to your mom yet," Fiona clarified. Adam looked at her confused. "Don't you think she'll flip if you suddenly show up one day fully transitioned?"

Adam looked stunned. "Who said I was going to go through with it?"

"Isn't that what you said?" Fiona asked puzzled. Adam shook his head and Fiona signaled him to continue talking.

"I said I was thinking about it," Adam pointedly told her. "Not that I was going to do it."

"So you're not going to do it?"

"I don't know; maybe. That's kind of what I wanted to ask you," Adam said. He looked down again. Fiona sighed and grabbed his face so that he looked directly at her.

"Adam, whatever makes you happy is fine by me," she sincerely told him. "But if you want my opinion, I think that no matter what, you will always be seen as Adam by Drew, Eli, Clare, your family, your friends, me…"

Adam scoffed. "Not you."

"Excuse me?" Fiona yelled. She stood up and Adam followed. "What is that supposed to mean?" she asked as she crossed her arms and gave Adam the death glare.

He ran his hand through his hair. "I am so sorry about that. I have no clue why I said that," he said. Fiona gave him a disbelieving look. "Seriously. There are no hard feelings. I don't know. I've just been doubting everything recently. There are so many questions in my head right now; I can't get anything straight."

"Questions?" Fiona asked softer.

"Like: should I transition? Do I need to transition? How will I change? Will I be a real boy? Am I already a real boy? Do I need the right body? Is it that important? Will it get rid of Gracie forever? Do I want to get rid of Gracie? Do I still want her around? Will it make people accept me? Will I regret it? Do I even want it? Why am I doubting it?" Adam started listing questions like rapid fire. Fiona stared at him in awe. There was so much going on in his mind and she felt bad for him.

"Come here," Fiona said after a moment. She grabbed his arms and pulled him to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he wrapped his around her shoulders. "You are Adam. No matter what we will all love you, Adam. I can't help you. I want to, but I can't. This is your decision. Just know that I am here to back you up, as I'm sure Clare, Eli, and Drew are as well, no matter what you decide."

Adam sighed and pulled away. "Thanks," he said. "You always know how to make me feel better." He smiled and she smiled back. Fiona leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly. It was platonic, but filled with love.

"You're welcome," she whispered. "Anytime."

Adam began to walk towards the door. Suddenly, he turned around. "By the way," he said leaning on the doorpost, "I want you to meet someone I work with."

"Oh yeah?" Fiona playfully asked.

"Yeah," Adam smiled. "Here's their card," he handed her a business car. "Give 'em a call. And feel better…princess."

And with that, Adam left Fiona's condo. She smiled and shut the door behind him. Fiona looked at the card:

'Nancy Cole **L**GBT Specialist'

Fiona laughed. It was just like Adam to try to set her up. She flipped the card and immediately recognized Adam's handwriting:

_Fiona + Nancy = FANCY! Hahahahaha_

Fiona laughed. She really did love Adam. And, as she made her way over to the delicious food he had left for her, for the trillionth time since high school, Fiona wished she could be with Adam.


	5. Chapter 5

**Earlier, Present Day**

Mrs. Torres sighed as the phone rang again. "Hello?"

"Hi mom."

"Adam, sweetie! How are you?" Mrs. Torres asked suddenly cheery and enthusiastic. It had been a few weeks since she last talked with her youngest son and she had been meaning to call him.

"I'm great mom. Really great," Adam said. "I'm actually in town."

"Really?" Mrs. Torres asked hopeful. Adam had moved to New York some time ago and she missed seeing him often. Although Drew had stayed in Toronto, it just wasn't the same without Adam.

"Yep," Adam confirmed. "I have some time off work and thought it would be a good time to stop by."

"That's fantastic Adam!" Mrs. Torres exclaimed. "Where are you?"

"I am currently standing outside the airport waiting for our ride," he told her.

Mrs. Torres furrowed her eyebrows. Our? Who was with him? Last time they talked he didn't have a girlfriend and there weren't a lot of people Adam was comfortable traveling with.

"But while I wait, I was wondering if you had some time to talk with me," Adam asked slowly and carefully.

"Of course. Always," Mrs. Torres assured him. "What's on your mind?"

"Well…look mom, there's no way to put this lightly," Adam began. _Oh God, he has a girlfriend, _Mrs. Torres panicked. She didn't have a problem with Adam dating – not anymore – she just didn't think he was ready for a serious relationship. "I've been seriously considering transitioning," he blurted.

"Oh," was all that came out. This was definitely a surprise for her. Sure, Adam had spoken about his before, but she never imagined that he'd actually go through with it.

It had taken years for Mrs. Torres to accept her son the way he was and now they were on good terms. College had been rough on their already strained relationship. Adam had wanted to bunk in a normal dorm but she had insisted on a private dorm with people who knew about him. Eventually, the school sided with his mother and Adam stopped speaking to her for almost a full year. He would call the house and only talk to Mr. Torres. It had hurt Mrs. Torres so much and she was thankful they had made amends.

"Mom, I know you're not necessarily all for this, but I need your support – whether or not I go through with it," Adam warned. The only important part of that sentence to Mrs. Torres was the ending when he said he may not go through with transitioning.

"Adam, I love you. I know I haven't always been there for you and I know we've had our differences, but I love and support you. I just want to make sure you've though about this," she told him.

"I have mom, and I'm still not sure," he admitted. "And that's why I'm calling you; I want to know what you think about this."

She sat silent for a moment. Adam could hear her breathing on the other end. Mrs. Torres thought about it. She took a deep breath before talking. "You want my honest opinion?"

"Yes, full honestly; nothing less," Adam said firmly in an effort to convince himself. He wasn't sure what his mother would say and he still wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"You are my _son_. No matter what your body looks like, you are my son. It might have taken me a while to realize it, but you are. But…" Mrs. Torres paused to think of how to phrase her thoughts, "I think that your body is part of who you are. You've always hated Gracie, but she is still a part of you. Remember that bonfire we had your sophomore year?"

"Yeah," Adam said quietly as his mother's words soaked in.

"You couldn't bring yourself to burn the picture of Gracie. Why?" she asked.

"Because she was still me," he told her. That day was forever burned into his mind as the first day that his mother looked at him and accepted Adam; the day she began to let go of Gracie.

"Has that changed?" his mother wisely pressed. Adam stopped to think.

"Well, no, I guess not. I mean, she will always be me," he said.

"Exactly, she is a part of you. If you were to ask me, I'd tell you to do whatever makes _you_ happy, but to remember that living as you have been, in the body you have been has shaped you into the well rounded man you are today," she reminded him.

There was a long pause. Adam contemplated his mother's advice while she sat in anticipation of his reply. Her worst fear was that he would claim that she hadn't let go of Gracie and their relationship would once again be ruined. His worst fear was that she would flat out reject him.

"That's all I have to say on this topic," Mrs. Torres broke the silence. "Now, when will you be visiting your father and me?"

"Well, Fiona's limo is pulling up right now so I was wondering if you could meet us in a little bit?" he phrased it as a question.

"Fiona?" his mom asked slightly nervous. She had learned about the two's disastrous relationship not too long ago – right before she learned that they were now very close friends! At first, Mrs. Torres was hurt that he would forgive her so easily and yet have trouble forgiving his own mother. But as time went on she learned that Fiona was a valuable person in Adam's life and she would just have to learn to like her.

"Yeah," he admitted shyly. "I was gonna try to get a group of people together later on today at Little Miss Steaks. I've already called Drew and he said that he and Bianca will be there. Eli and Clare will also be there and so will Fiona and I. Will you and dad?"

"Of course we'll be there, honey," she sweetly told him. Her mind was racing. Why would Adam call her out of the blue to talk to her about transitioning, then show up in Toronto trying to get a group of the people closest to him together at one place at one time?

"Great," he said. "And mom?"

"Yeah sweetie?" she asked still a bit lost in her thoughts.

"Thanks, for everything. I love you," he sincerely said.

Mrs. Torres smiled. "I love you too…son." And with that, the mother and son hung up the phone.

She had given him a lot to think about. And although she never directly said it, he knew she would always hope that one day he would wake up as Gracie and Adam would be all in the past. He knew that transitioning fully would put Gracie to rest forever, along with his mother's hopes of her returning. But everything she had said had a point, just like everything Drew and Eli and Clare and Fiona had said. And now, Adam had to make up his own mind for himself because no matter what anyone else thought, it was all up to him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Present Day**

"It's about my transition."

Adam scanned the table and took in the scene. Most everybody was calm as if they had expected this; however, Bianca and Clare were both similarly shocked. Bianca was shocked because it was unexpected to her. Clare was shocked that Adam looked so comfortable talking about this when just a few days ago he sounded distraught.

"I've talked about this with most of you within the past few days," Adam said. "And I want you all to know that I listened to every word you had to say. I also want all of you to know that I hadn't made up my mind until about an hour ago."

Mrs. Torres looked slightly relieved at this comment and Adam knew why; she was glad to hear that her opposition might have a chance.

"All of you said that you will love me no matter what, and I really appreciate it. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that you are all so supportive of me," he continued on as everyone listened in suspense. "I've thought so much about this choice because it's life changing. This isn't something that I can undo later in life if I want to; it's permanent."

Under the table, Eli and Clare held hands tightly while Drew tapped his foot anxiously. Mr. and Mrs. Torres shared a quick, knowing look with each other. Bianca locked eyes with Adam briefly before he looked away at Fiona who had her hand on his knee. She smiled sweetly at him.

Adam shut his eyes and took another deep breath. When he opened his eyes, he quickly met his mother's gaze and then began to speak.

"I've made my decision," he started. Fiona's had lightly squeezed his knee and he saw everyone else at the table lean in slightly in anticipation.

"I'm not going to do it."

There was immediate silence followed by a few puzzled looks sent his way and then an outburst.

Drew was saying things like, 'but you've always wanted this' and 'it would make you a man.' While Bianca sat there befuddled by the entirety of the situation. She then began to rub Drew's back and calm him down by telling him to let Adam explain.

Meanwhile, Clare just starred at Adam while Eli went bug eyed. He started telling Adam things like, 'but we just talked about this' and 'I don't understand.'

Mr. and Mrs. Torres were both saying the same things both with their voices and their eyes: why?

Fiona shared the same message as Adam's parents but her question was asked with concern layered in her voice and worry spread across her face.

"Adam? Why?" Fiona asked softly after everyone had calmed down from the initial shock.

"Because I'm not ready," he responded in a similar tone. When he looked up at the many confused faces that surrounded the table, he continued to explain. "I thought that I was ready to move on from my past, to move on from Gracie. But I'm not. Talking with all of you made me realize that if I was ready, I wouldn't be doubting it."

He paused for a deep breath before he continued. "Ever since I was little I knew I was a boy. And over the years I have proven to everyone that I was right. I showed everyone that I am a boy. But the fact is that Gracie was me. I was Gracie. Without Gracie I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't have learned the compassion, the understanding, the general caring that I now know without her. Over these past three days I've thought about why I was hesitant to let her go, and I've figured out my answer; Gracie has made me into Adam," Adam told the group.

"No," Drew said shaking his head. "Gracie has nothing to do with Adam."

"Yes she does, Drew," Adam insisted. "Had Gracie never been a reality, Adam would never have been a reality – I would never have been a reality! Because of Gracie, I have learned so much about myself. I've learned how to be strong and not succumb to bullies. I've learned how to not give into the temptation of anger or fear. I've learned how to treat my friends and family. But most importantly, I've learned that you don't need to be physically a male to be a man."

"Adam," Eli started, "I hate to say this, but I'm with Drew on this one."

"Thank you!" Drew exclaimed relieved there was at least one other person on his side. Eli shot his a glare before returning his attention back to Adam.

"It's great that Gracie taught you all these things, but don't you think it's time to let her go and let _Adam_ start teaching you things?" Eli asked.

"I get where you're coming from, Eli. But Adam has taught me so much already. He's the one who taught me that the mind matters. He taught me that inner strength is more important than physical strength. He's the one who taught me how to live _my_ life the way _I_ want to live it," Adam countered. Eli sighed at Adam's response.

It went silent again; no one knew what to say. Drew was a bit angered but had calmed down. Eli was slightly upset but understood. Then, Bianca began to speak.

"Why exactly can't you let Gracie go?" she asked confused. This got the attention of Mrs. Torres who had, until this point, drifted off into another world.

Adam sighed. "Because we're one in the same," he told her simply.

"But, how would transitioning change that?" Clare questioned. Adam gave her a light hearted smile.

"Getting the surgeries would mean getting rid of Gracie…forever. There would be nothing of her but a memory," Adam told her. Clare was about to speak but Adam cut her off with his hand. "Let me finish," he said calmly. "Getting rid of Gracie would mean getting rid of a part of me – getting rid of some of Adam."

"But you hate that part of you!" Drew pointed out. Adam nodded in agreement.

"I used to," he agreed with his brother. "I used to think that Gracie was some sort of curse – a joke – by God on me. But I learned over time that being in this body has led me to meet the right people," he said glancing at Eli, Clare, and Fiona, "and leaning on my family," he finished by looking at Drew and his parents.

Silence again.

"You don't have to do this for me, Adam," Mrs. Torres spoke up. Her voice sounded foreign, as if she was distancing herself from the conversation entirely.

"I'm not," he told her. She just shook her head.

"Adam, don't lie to me," she said melancholy.

"Mom, I know that you'd never say it, but one day you hope that I will wake up and Adam will just be a phase. You hope that one day I'll wake up and be Gracie forever more," he responded slightly upset.

"When you were a child, yes," Mrs. Torres said. "But you're a man now. I hope that you never wake up and return to being Gracie. I think that you want the surgeries, but you don't want us to be at bad terms again. Please don't do this for me," she pleaded.

"I'm not," he said again. "I'm doing it for me. Every day I wake up and I'm tempted to give it all up, just dress up as a girl and live life as Gracie. But then I remember who I am and what I've been through. And every morning that temptation, that inner turmoil, that internal struggle, I have makes me a stronger person. It makes me believe more and more in myself and who I am."

"Why have that fight? Why not wake up without that temptation?" Fiona asked softly. Adam turned his attention away from his mother briefly to look at her.

"Because that battle every morning, reminds me that I'm alive. It reminds me that there are kids out there just like me who are struggling and need someone to look at and say 'wow, I wanna be just like him.' Every morning, I wake up knowing exactly who I am," he spoke carefully and passionately.

"You're sure?" Mr. Torres asked. Adam nodded his head.

"I'm positive. You all said you love me just as I am, and that's how I want to stay, exactly as I am," Adam said with a smile on his face.

Adam looked around the table once more. His parents were glowing with pride in the man their 'daughter' had become. Drew gave Adam a small smile saying 'I don't get it, but I'll be there for you.' Bianca gave him a sweet smile and a supportive nod. Clare gave Adam a concerned look, but one filled with understanding and love. Eli sat alongside her with his signature smirk in place telling Adam that they were still, and would always be, best friends no matter what. Fiona sent Adam a loving look and squeezed his knee once again just so that he knew that she truly loved him.

"Well," Mr. Torres broke the silence. "I think this big announcement calls for quite a celebration." He held up his glass of wine followed by everyone else at the table. "To Adam, who is strong enough to know who he is and is brave enough to stay how he is today and never change."

They all clinked glasses and laughed. Chatter began at the table as they ordered food and more wine. Adam clinked glasses with his mom last.

"Thank you mom," he whispered.

"Why?" she asked in return.

"For saying what you did. It meant so much to me that you were willing to let me go through with it and were willing to let go of Gracie," he said sheepishly.

"I'm so proud of you, Adam," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Thanks mom. I love you," he said starting to tear up as well.

"I love you too, son," she whispered to him. They shared a short, sweet smile before returning to conversation at the table.

_Things are looking pretty good_, Adam thought as he looked around the table one last time at all the people who he loved undoubtedly. Each one meant so much to him. And their support of him meant even more.

Adam's eye caught Clare's, the only one at this table to ever see him burning himself as Gracie. She smiled at him and he knew that his life was going to be just fine living the way he does, as Adam but never forgetting Gracie.


End file.
